Review: Ultraviolet

All right, this is going to be a bit of an ad hoc review. Nothing formalized, no structure, just my somewhat rambling thoughts a good 12 hours after I watched this movie.

Anyways, here is my succinct, and to the point review:

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now, the question remains: was I supposed to find this movie as insanely funny as I did? For some reason, I doubt it, but there was just so much that I laughed through. The list includes:

• The fight scenes
• The other fight scenes
• Those other fight scenes
• and of course, the fight scenes.

You know, judging from what I laughed at, one would get the feeling that this movie was nothing but a vehicle for silly fight scenes. Well, concerning the film that was ultimately released that's true. The plot and character developments have been butchered during the editing process (according to IMDB.com the film was taken from writer/director Kurt Wimmer and completely re-edited the film because the original version was "too emotional" for a SF action flick.

Which really kind of annoys me. That implies that all SF/genre fans have the emotional range of turnips or something. Now, I know that my beloved wife believes that I lack compassion and empathy, but that's okay, because let's face it I do. Yet I still enjoy watching emotional dramas from time to time. Especially if said emotional piece is interlaced with explosions, sword play and/or lots of gun fights; you know, those fun things to take your mind off the girly-emotional stuff.

Anyways, yes, I laughed while watching this movie. Unfortunately, it was more the snickering one does at old reruns of The Blob rather than any humor intentional from the film's editors.

Ultimately, I was happy when I selected the 'erase' option on my DVR, and even happier when I realized that I had never bothered to go see this movie in the theaters or rent it on DVD the way I had considered a number of times.

In the end, this gets a 0 out of 4. Not even the cool techno-babble could save this unfortunate, hour and a half long fight scene.